Way way way way a long time ago when we had to see the Scariest Doctor of All-he was very much like the Great and Powerful Oz. You had to see him on your way out the cancer door. The question was, was he going to let you out? Or make you do some sorta chemo thing or what? It was terrifying and it only lasted about 7 minutes.
When we heard we could leave the cancer center that day? I believe the phrase 'haul ass' would be wildly appropriate but there was One Thing because there's always at least One Thing, right? "Lose some weight." he said. And I was all like, yeahokaybye. Emphasis on the bye.
And I am sure I thought about it a lot and I am sure I tried 101 different things and different cookbooks and different approaches. I work at a library. Cookbooks pass me on the hour. How many calories did I burn carrying those books back and forth?
And then the next doctor-the blood lady-told us that a person's weight had no bearing on the outcome of all of that business, so it wasn't even an official thing anymore. I did do(thank goodness)the Cancer to 5K thing and that put me in motion and Kristin removed my fear of treadmill and for the past ten weeks, with the exception of 2 hard-core work days and one day off for someone's birthday, I've been to the gym every day.
This is my chart. It lives on the back of the front door.
Did you get that? Every DAY.
And what came at the hugest shock to me? Was that nobody was standing in my way. And believe me I looked everywhere. I went at all hours-like even right after an ass-kicking work day. I found my treadmill, I turned on the teevee and off I clomped.
(It has to be said that P provided unwavering support and went way above and beyond with Grantley care.)
I even started a most hilarious thing for myself where I make myself say hello to everyone I meet on the sidewalk on the way in to the gym purely for my own amusement. (Guess what? If they're not wearing headphones? They say hi back.) I still look up every day at the Loyola Campus and thank my lucky stars to be on the gym side as opposed to the hospital side.
A long time ago, I had heard from these two women in the pool who were doing a gym program called Change Your Weigh that what they learned from the class was that they had Not Been Eating Enough.
So yeah, I was the first one signed up. Or maybe the second. Who cares. It was 140 dollars-I think. For that you get two nights a week-one hour with the dietician/life coaches and the next night-an hour with the trainer and it runs for 10 weeks. All the staff involved-and I think there are like 7 people-are dressed in black so I think of them as the Weight Loss Ninjas.
The 8 class members and the 7 ninjas just started-more or less. You had to go in for an individual assessment and you got to breathe into this super cool contraption that told you how many calories you burn in a 24 hour period just by being alive and that number determined how many calories you get to have everyday.
Everyone's number is different.
We're tracking our food on My Fitness Pal which I thought would be exceptionally annoying but it's actually really useful so I can determine when a 100 calorie Milky Way Bar might be appropriate (or not-duh). And then, like out of nowhere, the home delivered fruit and vegetable boxes arrived in our universe and then my co-worker Stephanie told me about this spaghetti squash recipe that was amazing and then all of these quacklie ducks started lining up in a row.
A most amazing thing.
So now I'm going around being outraged that I purposely stopped at the gym to eat one of their official Change Your Weigh salads, right? And I'm all chomping away and just as I was finished, I turn over the plastic container of salad dressing that I selected to check the numbers and HOLY MUTHA OF JAYZUZ, I picked one that had 200 calories in it.
That is two 100 calorie Milky Way bars or probably something like 9000 slices of cucumber with this guacamole, right? So I'm learning. And that is a glorious thing indeed.