Oh yeah. Better like this.
Today was art therapy day! (Which rhymes with yay!) I found a flyer at the cancer center inviting people to come and paint on silk. I am sure you do not recall, but ages ago P and me met with the art therapist and plotted a project that would reflect my extreme anger at having been pulled out of my former life. I don't even remember what my former life was-to be honest. And I'm not sure that's a bad thing.
Loyola doesn't have ya know, all the accoutrements of a Cancer Center of America but at least they're trying.
We were going to smash plates for anger release and glue them back together with gold seams along the lines of what those Japanese artisans do but, Mr. Practicality said that we really couldn't get involved in a project that didn't involve us getting paid for our time and while he was oh so wrong-because art is a necessary food group for one's survival-he was also absolutely right, but now this flyer appeared and I was ready.
Should I tell you about the toenails?
I walked into this little office and the receptionist indicated a chair for me to sit and I walked over and noticed it was sprinkled with nails. Maybe they were fingernails. They weren't clippings. They were canoes.
Here's me: OH MAH GAWD, ARE THOSE TOE NAILS? And then I make a gacky sound of disgust.
And the ladies who had arrived earlier PRETENDED that this was a revelation but YOU KNOW they had seen them because why didn't they sit there? Right? Toenail blindness? I think not.
Yeah so explain to me how a bunch of human snippings ends up on a chair in a cancer center. What. Was somebody collecting them and they fell out of their back pocket or something? Gaaaaaaah.
The nice lady receptionist with the pink breast cancer ribbon decorated glasses picked up a tissue and some hand sanitizer and made it all go away and I said, well THAT'S something you can now add to your resume. (because that's what I always think when something gets severely gross in my universe).
I feel now a certain sense of chill towards my co-artists who left me that place to sit. We were supposed to be being friendly. Uh-huh. Not so much.
Also one of the ladies said something massively patronizing to me art-wise-like that it was OH-kay that I wasn't following a pattern and I was like, uh yeah. I. know.
(There was a woman who came into the library who started preaching at me about art. I mean like-it was all I could do to just stand there and take it which is-of course-what I did but come ON people. FIVE YEARS METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART. Ya got me? I will talk with you but do not talk at me. )
We went into a room where there were 4 sort-of easels set up and I took a spot. The white silk was stretched with little clippies already and the dye was pre-poured into ice cube trays. They had plastic medical gowns for us to wear and rubber gloves if we wanted them and they squirted extra dye into our ice cube trays using a hypodermic needle without the needle. Pretty crafty, no?
The Woman In Charge made us go around and say something that we were grateful for. In retrospect, at this point, I wish I had mentioned not sitting in the toenails.
My plan was to do my flower. According to my mother, our family flower is supposed to be the Calla Lily but my personal flower (if I am permitted a personal flower and I believe that I am)is this one.
They explained the process and how the dye bleeds so I knew I wasn't painting any Siberian squill. Not on this day.
Next thought was the flowers on the bag that a certain woman carries into the library every so often. I so totally dig it. I was thinking of doing them in blue.
And I started in? And it really looked like crap. And the PROCESS of making something ugly and terrible and then fixing it. Ah! I looooooooooooved it.
So then I thought I was making clouds. Dudes-I was having so much fun because the dye goes on like a dry brush? So cool. I thought-hmm a cloud scarf would be really cool. Scarves don't sit still especially, so pictures didn't really matter, right?
And I got to a point where I didn't know where I was going and I decided maybe I needed some contrasting dots or something so I started checking out the other colors. And totally by accident? This showed up.
You see it?
And all of a sudden I knew I was painting the ocean. Oh man. That was so cool.
And before I knew it? I was done.
You see him? It's a goldfish. So happy he turned up.
The next step they said was to take an iron and I said, what's that? Because I do not dig the assumption from anyone that I- as a human-own or have time to iron.
So I guess they're gonna iron it and that makes the dye stay and ya know what? I don't even care. My head was so delightfully relaxed.
And for that I am eternally grateful.