Sunday, September 6, 2015

Clearly I still think everyone is reading my mind and knows exactly what I'm talking about.  No?

Ha! Okay. The blog title. Came from the doctor's instructions. I said, okay, what is it that I can be doing right now, to make this more successful and that was his answer and I thought, okay. Done.

The backstory. (And this is before I decided to take photos and I think under the circumstances, you're going to be happy about that.)

I had a colonoscopy. Wow I was pretty scared about that for some reason. My imagination sometimes gets way out in front of me.

If you have to get one-here's the deal. It is ABSOLUTELY nothing. All the gross stuff happens in the privacy of your own bathroom. The hospital part-you're completely drugged up and you feel fine (or at least I did.)

So, I had the colonoscopy and in addition to a polyp which they removed(again. No pain.)they found some questionable stuff. Had it tested. Decided it needed to come out pronto.

(They referred to it as 'a cancer'. And based on my 5 ish years of massage listening to people define themselves by their diagnosis-that's what I'm calling this this too. It's a cancer and it's coming out. Dig it? )

Then I had something called a sigmoidoscopy. When I saw my actual (stunningly attractive) arse projected onto a screen on the wall via a camera that was about to make a journey up my backside, I told 'em I wasn't going to watch and they were cool with that.

On the way calendar-wise, to the scheduled surgical extravaganza, I had one more stop to make and that was the PET Scan and it seems as if there's something additional that has to come out.

That's where this blog starts.

I'm doing this chunk of blog because I need a way to sort it all out and you know I love taking pictures and I thought it'd be the easiest way to keep everyone posted all at the same time.

What you can do for me? Be your happy selves. Really, my cup overfloweth with humans of the highest quality. This means you.

Also PLEASE no horrible stores about your neighbors uncle Fred and PLEASE no sad sympathetic voices around me.

I don't know if this qualifies me as a giant jerkface but I am the strongest person I know.


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