Friday, September 11, 2015

Exchanging My Religion




Do you ever have it-that sometimes you can't believe people are going along with you-on some crazy scheme or other? Like you're anticipating some sorta gigantic shove back and it just never comes. 

Yesterday, after shaking the gentlest hands I've ever touched, I said, Hey. I wanna go back to Registration. Which was, for the record, two buildings up and I just expected him to be like..can't you just leave it for another day or words to that effect and he just went along. 

No big thang. 

We're starting to know our way-a little bit so we passed Information and went on to Registration and a lovely young woman went back to the Registration Lady and the next thing you know, we're seated again in front of this very nice woman dressed in blue and black and I say, There's two things I'd like to change. 

And she's all smooth and professional and I say, okay first-the marital status. Is there any other choice than the hideous 'Significant Other'? (It's so Jack Tripper, isn't it? Ugh.) And she was so kind to scroll through the options. I had in mind something along the lines of 'partners' or something charming like that. Generally speaking, we've been going with 'Valentines' but I didn't expect that hospital to be quite THAT progressive but uggh, ya know? Significant Other. 

She had Life Partners and I said, yeah. I'd go with that but no. That's reserved for gay people. I mean, can't we just have the same thing as everybody else?

: )

There was the possibility of Civil Union-I was all over that-but that had to be actually paperwork official and it was all very interesting and she said she'd bring it up in the next staff meeting. The lack of choices. 

Fair enough. 

Then we moved on to religion. Since there was no option known as 'All Inclusive', I was pretty much set to go with Unitarian. I went to the Frank Lloyd Wright Unity Temple once and the minister spoke of Polar Bears and their relationships and I thought, I'm pretty much down with all of that but P-for some CRAZY reason felt like that was the Wrong Choice. 

Like maybe as I approached the pearly gates-there'd be some sort of flannel board quiz I'd have to take and I wouldn't know the exact Unitarian answers and I'd have to go to the end of the line or something really un-polar bear-like. 

I asked her what else she had~description-wise and she said she had 'Other' and I thought, hmmm 'Other'. That kinda works. And she assured me that MANY people selected 'Other' and I was convinced. 

The Registration Lady heaved a sigh of great relief. 

In the past 48 hours, I have written my will, swiffered madly, pre-collected on my free birthday sandwich at Starship, prepared my art for a show I won't be able to attend, made an extra set of keys, laughed so hard at a texting joke I almost choked, instructed P in what to do in the actual event I DO croak which is a kind of a hideous conversation to have when there's any possibility he really needs to pay attention, gone to see a talk called 'Style Over 60' where the speaker held up copies of How Not To Look Fat and How Not To Look Old and she said, the author, unfortunately perished from a battle with breast cancer and for me, I think maybe she might have spent her days writing a book called How Not To Waste Your Precious Time On Stupid Stuff, and F the Spanxs for Other sakes, but maybe, maybe, maybe that's just me.









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