Ann's New Non-Negotiable Rules of Waiting Rooms
1. Hey You. Lady in your 60's. You are f-ing killing me with that perfume.
You get off the elevator reeking of Estee, followed by your 80 year old Mother with a walker completely Estee-fied, followed by a wave of scent that nearly knocks even P off his seat.
I am taking anti-nausea pills.
You are not helping.
2. Hey You. Old guy. Number one, you're too f-ing loud. Number two:I don't want to talk to you and Three: When you start ranting about 'The Japs'. We're done. done. done.
Leave me alone.
End. Of. Story.
3. No teevee. Or if you must-and I don't see why silence isn't a very good thing to practice-at least provide me with a place to sit that's far, far away from Kathie Lee.
4. Halloween decorations. Are they all appropriate in a hospital setting? I. think. not.
5. The wait. Can you not have some sort of text/website/telephone thing happening where-if the dude is running MORE THAN AN HOUR LATE-it's not possible to let me know in advance? Cripes. What if I'm dying next Thursday or something? You're eating my life.
6. Magazines. Instead of people stealing all the good ones? We could make it a universal tradition to actually bring your good old mags to the office and abandon them for the next person.
7. Reception ladies. You're not invisible. We've been sitting here watching you for over an hour because there are no magazines and we have nothing to look at but you. We can see you playing with your phone. Duh. And maybe, how about some kindness? That would be good too.