The first time I found out I had cancer was by my German-as-a first-language, primary care doctor said it. 'It seems as if you have a cancer.' she said. And I thought, hmm okay. She's not saying, your body is riddled with cancer, she's saying it's a thing and the thing has got to go. I wasn't really, really, uber-alarmed.
Do you remember that book called: First, You Cry? It was made into a Mary Tyler Moore movie and I guess the title referred to her initial reaction to her first diagnosis. Or is it a breast cancer thing? I dunno, but it never occurred to me to cry. (I will say OWW really loud and I am not above playing the 'I feel like I'm going to heave' card which gets you in and out of the CAT scan faster. Heads up.)
Where the cancer thang got kinda frighteningly hairy-and I pity my poor manager who bore the brunt of my shock-was when I was at work and I happened to catch a cell message and it was that my left adrenal gland had 'lit up' and that meant that it had to come out in addition to the original cancer patch but when an adrenal gland gets cancerous-it's from a secondary source-**I think I have this right**but the bottom line was that either I was walking around with cancer figgy pudding in my entire belly(because adrenal cancer is a number 2 and if IT got cancer-it's because it woudda been from some OTHER source-like lung or kidney)or two things, two doctors, one cancer one surgery and done.
The funny thing was here's me trying to babble out this latest news to my boss that day and she-a VERY intelligent human-says, so it's better then, right? And me: no no. It's worse.
Ha ha ha. Really, you have to laugh. We are all just people and we are trying so hard. : )
Today was the milestone of the 4 week post-surgery doctors appointment. I've been in bed-well, not really straight through in bed but I had a bit of a downturn or a relapse or a setback or whatever. I just haven't been feeling very well at all. Major surgery-go figya.
So. Why is it that just seeing the doctor makes you feel better? Even if you're not better. Another mystery.
The news is, I have to see three other doctors which is probably going to be like 12 other doctors because this is a teaching hospital and they arrive in bunches. I have to scale back on the pain medication because and switch over to Tylenol and that might assist me in turning back into a real person.
Two things I'm really scared of:
Getting in a car accident.
Hurting my hand from karate chopping the neck of the next rude personal question asker.
Good News: Jocularity is returning to Walton's Mountain.
Tomorrow: Caring for the care-giver.