Anyway, you say your problem and the nurse asks questions and she hangs up and runs off to ask the doctor.
Whoa I feel SO very weird bothering a surgeon. Awkweird.
In matters of bowel, the first question is: are you passing gas?(Which, thanks to the Australians-from now on it's ONLY going to be referred to as 'wind') And I THINK the reason is, my bowel has been handcrafted into a 2015 version and they want to insure the seal is holding. Then there are instructions and usually I have to say, some of the issues have been MY misunderstanding of-let's say-the prescription. I have this stuff called Doc-Q-Lace. I didn't really even know what it was for and here's why: I'm off my game. Duh.
A wonderful reader sends this anonymous tip: I swear by this: squeeze half a lemon into a big glass of water and drink it. You can probably add honey if you want - but DON'T use reconstituted lemon juice - only fresh because of the enzymes!
My mother's recipe :)
I'm sipping it right now. Thanks reader! And your Mom. : )
This morning, P asked me(and this is AFTER he was glorious enough to go fetch me a lemon on this fine day and he was, so we're giving him that-fer sher):
You TOLD people you were constipated?
Like I'm supposed to feel bad about feeling bad?
See, there's something very small happening here and I fear there will be casualties.
It's called: a cancer diagnosis.
My agenda has changed.
Here's the webpage from downunduh. I really could have used this, America.
Press a pillow against your stomach if you are going to sneeze or anything else that tightens those muscles.
For the explosive D- if that continues, you are going to want the Epsom salts we all laughed at as kids. A couple of inches of warm water in the tub and your back side will feel better.
(Hmm Explosive D. That might be my new rap name. : D Yo yo yo.)
Things you really wanna have at the hospital: Wide tooth comb. Fantastic black underpants. Solid sleep.
Ooh one last thing: I got an angel.