Been reading your blog... Will you continue with the psychologist? Maybe just keep going because, hell, its something to lock-in how completely life undoing this shit is. I am concerned about you my friend, simply because you are such a special - magnificent - person and I am so happy to know you.
You wanna know what? Well first of all. I am welcome to return. She said I could see how things go or I had the option to make another appointment but between you and I? Handing me a xerox of (FREE! ) meditation was kind of sad. I guess that was in response to me telling her 27 times just how f-ed I feel financially. (I didn't say f. I f-ing thought it.)
I think she's probably overburdened because her card says 'professor' but there was no 'do what makes your heart sing' and that-not 'do you use illegal drugs' because with WHAT would I purchase them?-is what I need right now. There's still one rat in our house. He ate the two little Chiclets out of P's tiny UPS package he scored at a Veteran's Fair. Dammit. Even the Chiclets aren't safe.
I found a good book-I think. At the end of every chapter there are FAQ's and each one seems to start with the phrase 'Is it normal' and that cheers me up.
The psychologist and that nurse we got to talk to said this Wellness House place might be our next stop so I'm going to try that next.
This sounded really cool.
Survivorship Series: STEP Ahead: In Action
Mondays, October 19-November 16 6:00-7:30PM Registration Required
Treatment is over and everyone around you believes you should be "back to normal" but inside you know your life has changed in profound ways. Both educational and experiential, this 5-week program is designed for cancer survivors who have completed treatment. Each 90 minute session will focus on a variety of topics including exercise, nutrition and stress management, in addition to group discussion related to emotional and physical changes post-treatment, social support and coping techniques. Participants will have the opportunity to explore community resources and create a Survivorship Action Plan. Attendance at each session is beneficial but not required.
I could also go back to the art therapy girl-I might. Just for fun. We were gonna bust things out of anger and I thought hey how would it be if you busted a happy life back into this traumaorama. What would THAT look like?
Strangely-I just massaged a LCSW who specialized in grief and loss and she did an amazing job of cracking my code in about two minutes AND she gave me a huge tip.
On the good side. She reminded me that I'm still very early in the healing process. She asked me what I liked to do and I said: write. She told me a story about someone she knew who went on vacation and her CAR got infested by mice. She called the dealership and it's a very common thing with car dealers.(My hilarious library co-workers instantly imagined having to drive that mousey car to the dealership. Yoikes.) That all goes under the category of 'shit happens'. And we talked about the idea of blaming oneself and she suggested that I might find a combination of factors if I really took a good look and that maybe they weren't really all completely under my control. Okay the Jujyfruits. That's on me.