Tuesday, December 1, 2015

A woman with shiny, black, long, Cher-sorta hair and big white shades walked next to an older man using a red walker. She carried his library books. They were strangers up until the time of her offer. He came to me and we talked about being on the other side of assistance. The department of acceptance. And how the experience of falling apart only gave you even more compassion for the next person. 

Uh huh.


"It was great to see you. You look better than Facebook led me to expect. A very good thing."

Here now, the news:

My affordable care act became unaffordable. Actually, Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Illinois dumped my plan(who was surprised by that?) and in it's place is offering something nearly three times the price so, one of today's chores is to contact the surgeon and find out what the commitment is in terms of follow-up appointments and what his 'negotiated rate' is because it might just be cheaper to pay him cash and get the crappiest unaffordable care act plan and go back to Walgreen's Take Care Clinic for everyday needs. 

Ain't that some shit.

As they say.

There's a physical problem that has me limping. Glimping. Grimacing and limping. I know, right? Went to see Primary Care last Friday who could not identify the cause. She sent me to the doctor I'm seeing this afternoon. He's supposed to be Very Hard of Hearing but Very Good.<eye roll> I'll probably be saying goodbye to Primary Care at the end of December. 

The 10th rat was pulled out of the base of our kitchen cabinet  very dead, very bloated and very smelly. We had all the end of November windows open so we could breathe without choking. (I thought it was the downstairs people who insist on smoking a very low quality weed.) But it was all kind of like the cancer removal process, right? You have to get it out but you might catch a head cold from having the window open. And Oh. The strain on your relationships a bad head cold or 10(expletive deleted)rats can have. You have no idea. 

On the other hand, P has determined we can sleep with the bedroom door open which after five or six weeks seems really strange. Strangerous. 

Oh and this was really good. I had to throw out my past. The rat brothers got into my filing cabinets. Blood, droppings, rat dental floss, rat thongs-all over everything. I scored some neon green Mr Clean rubber gloves at the Jewel and threw everything out. And I got to this certain point where two edges met-all the time thinking some sort of rodent might be popping out at any time-I approached each drawer with the end of the broom handle. You grasping this scene conceptually? Out pops a grey-and I watched terror juice pouring into my hands-wadded up t-shirt. Holy Muther of Jayzuz. I almost heart attacked all over the place. And then I just watched my fingers tremor. 


P had stuffed the corner with an old rag. Once your fingers stop shaking, you have to laugh. 


This book was very helpful to me. 
Surviving After Cancer-Living the New Normal by Anne Katz.

This book was kind of sweet but not too sweet. 
Survival Lessons by Alice Hoffman. 

The cookbook. 
Cook for your Life. (http://cookforyourlife.org) Altho I really appreciate the correct spelling of her first name and her mission of fantasticness-I'm gonna keep looking. 

And my best cousin said she read that this is supposed to be good so I requested it from the library.

The Dog Lived (and so will I) by Teresa J. Rhyne


: )

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