Tuesday, December 29, 2015


Colonoscopy on the 13th Floor


Warning: If this bottle enters your universe, 
it does not mean you are going to the cinema. 




Were you worried? Okay, based upon what you went through, I was concerned about the outcome. 

What do you mean 'concerned about the outcome'? You didn't have any symptoms, right?

Right.

I was relieved that only one small polyp was found and it was extracted for pathological analysis. I'll call late next week. You know our anniversary is coming up. 




What are we gonna do for our anniversary?
Go back to Kinderhook and get our drink on. (Editors note: This probably means one beer and possibly an appetizer. Woo!)

Okay, what else. 

I was impressed by the nice people in the GI lab. Nurses. They were all nurses there. In the GI lab on the 13th floor. I forgot to mention that to them. 





What were their names? 

Let's see. The one-I didn't get her name. Sherry. Maria. Kim. Janet. There was another one too. Were those all the names I mentioned earlier? 

I don't know. 

You put all that down? 

Yeah.



This man has three pensions. 


Maria, Kim, Sherry and Janet. Sherry put the IV in. She was the one who said about the restaurant. What was it? Gaetanos

Yeah.

How did you find the prep. How was the prep for you?

It worked. I think the main thing is a light meal. A light last meal. If you had like a 20 oz Porterhouse steak? That would be going through your system a lot different than a small bowl of easy-to- digest pasta. 

So you think they should have suggested that?

I forgot to mention all that stuff. Like what I went through? 

Like what?

Like what to expect on clean-out day. Number one. If possible-for SURE-stay home. Have lots of toliet paper available. Expect your evacuation system to act in a way you've never seen before. 

Like what do you mean?

As far as the depletion of solids to water and all the different colors.  

Gross.




What other advice would you give someone?

Overall it's really a very, very safe and recommended procedure to assure a healthy colon. 

I'm just wondering right now, when was the first colonoscopy done.....(drifts off)

Remember when you asked me who invented macaroni and cheese?(drifts off)



So you're 53, right? 
So are you. Was that YOUR first colonoscopy?

What made you wait three years?
Getting the green light from the VA. The thing was, when I turned 50 in 2012, my other VA primary care provider didn't suggest it.

Who did?
My newest one at Hines did.

So it wasn't because of me?
Of course not. No.

Oh. 



Can I have your oranges?

Of course. 


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