Sunday, December 20, 2015

People pull me aside and say: So. 

(long dramatic pause)

How are you feeling?

And I think to myself, Dude, do you not see me functioning? Holymuthaofjayzuz. Was I not just balled up in the shape of a comma so many weeks ago? 

But maybe that's not what they're really asking. Hmmm. 

Most days I feel like 80 out of 100. And I think that's pretty amazing. (We are three months out and you don't touch normal till 6.) Other days, I'm probably at more of a 78 BUT! Everything has changed. 

Naps are non-negotiable. (I learned that from my friend Alice. Sunday afternoon naps. So brilliant.) I am watching more teevee which is probably horrible on some level but at night when it's all done, I just throw my arse in park and say hello to Blue Bloods. I can't watch anything bloody or violent. I just can't take that stuff in. 

My head seems to have come back properly. And I didn't realize how great and powerful those drugs were(I don't mean great like: hey great! I mean great and powerful like Oz.). And how long it would take to get that stuff out of my system and how I knew when it was gone. That might have even been last week. 

I went to the Economy Shop. That's Oak Park's two days a month sort of Thrift Shop except it's in an old sort of a mansion and every room supports a different Oak Park cause. I had been waiting to go on this spree for a long time. I went after work on Saturday. I was overdressed heat~wise and the room I was headed for was upstairs and it was hot. 

I was looking for men's shirts. They have really nice ones. They're 3 bucks each. I got 4. Drag them to the dry cleaner, roll up the sleeves and you are good to go. So, I am squished into this corner, sweat is rolling down my face and this jackass of a woman insists on putting herself between me and the wall and she steps on my foot. 

I was like, HEY. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? And my old self might have let it drop? But no. I guess I'd never understand a person like that. Her need for a used overcoat was so urgent that she had to walk on my foot. 

Oy yoy yoy.

We took a cancer field trip this week. 

The place is called Wellness House. It is Very Far. We were driving there(I have to explain. Remember me needing to read every cancer book on the planet? That phase is over. It's gotten a little scary. I read a Chicago Tribune op-ed piece by a woman who's doctor gave her something like "six months-ish". That was the exact quote from her doctor(nice, eh?) and guess what? When she heard that? She was feeling fine. Holy shit.) and any of this stuff kinda makes me just a little bit edgy now but we're driving to go to our orientation. They only have them at the weirdest times. Tuesdays at 5:30 and Wed at 9:00. And I say(as a sort of a self protection thing) well, First Of All. This is Too Far

We live in Oak Park and this is in Hinsdale. And actually, the most hilarious this is from where me and P live? Hinsdale is the opposite end of the human spectrum. Like we come out of a one bedroom condo on the third floor in a 1930's non-elevator building and these people have gigantic mansions and those would be their garages, ya know what I'm saying? Crazediculous. 

We find the place. We're too early but we go in anyway. They are both charming and delightful. The place is like a Hallmark commercial. Big Wreath. We get a tour-it's just us and the lady asks me if I can make it down the stairs okay. I was like....uhhhhh I had to do 3 flights of stairs The Day I Got Home : ) Anyway, she shows us the exercise room and if it wasn't over an hour away, right? But there are two classes I'm going to try and get myself to. One is Deep Hypnosis cuz that just sounds super cool (especially March 19 called:When People Share Their Drama)and the other is a Post-Treatment Networking Group. I signed up and now I just have to do some work maneuvers in order to get there. 

We had to go into this special room. I think they called it: The Nook. For me-it would be a perfect room to deliver bad news. Pillows, soft lighting, beige. We were talking to this woman who was in charge and we told her that P called himself a 'Comfort Keeper' as opposed to a Caregiver because we saw it on teevee and we thought it was HIGHlarious. Comfort Keepers are actually people you hire to look after your people. It's the name of a business. But this lady-in The Nook? She just latched on to the loveliness of that sentiment and we were like, noooooo. We say it because it's FUNNY. 

So maybe a trip to Gilda's Club is in order, oui? 

I had to go for an X-ray. We are still up against that five dollar parking nonsense. But we got smart. We went today at 3:00 while the Bears game was on. P dropped me at the curb and took the car across the street while I did the X-ray alone. #winning. 

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