Saturday, February 20, 2016

Thank You, Rich People

This morning was my second try at hypnosis via The Wellness House. I took the day off from the library because I don't wanna be one of those people that doesn't ever put themselves first and I got someone cool to cover for me so eventho I missed The Guild-as the Saturday Morning people been calling ourselves-and I did miss them, I have to get better.

I sat next to an edgy young dude who had been diagnosed with Stage Two breast cancer. He was Stage Two because the doctors couldn't figure his diagnosis out based on his demographic. He was nervous about speaking in front of the group. 

Today's topic was: Keeping Your Energy In Your Own Life. I think that's an excellent strategy and I've been doing more and more of it. I'm miles behind in my e-mail, but, listen, I gotta get better. 

So, the talking stone gets passed around the circle and I hear many of the same people from last time say-nearly the Exact Same Things. One lady even sheds 2.5 tears at the exact same interval of her story. 


Meanwhile, outside, it is a glorious day. Like one of those first days of spring sort of days. Ironically, the hypnotist couldn't get one of the window shades down-so there's Mister Sunshine out there saying, Hey dumbass. Don't you own a couple of kites? What are you doing inside?

The introduction thing went on forever. This time, I had my arms crossed over my solar plexus AND my legs crossed and here's why: There's a school of meditation kind of thought that says the way to keep yourself protected from certain people's hideous negativity(you have people like that, right?) is to cover your solar plexus with your arms crossed in front of you and if you have to, even tip your body away from the yammerer. You have to save yourself. 

I do it at the library all the time. I cannot afford to take other people's bad electricity in. I've got enough on my platter. 

So it gets to the end of the (gaaaaah) "sharing" portion of the session and I turn to the new dude and I say, so. What do you think?

He looks down and says: sad. 

And I thought, yeah. I don't think I can come back. 

For the actual hypnosis part of the day, I had terrible trouble focussing and at one point I opened my eyes and saw the hypnotist checking his phone. 


We will be back to Wellness House for two more things or maybe three. But it's time to move on to funner stuff. 


4 Months After

Philip didn't go with me to this appointment. I went straight there from work and I stopped for an Einstein Bagel with a schmear in the hospital lobby because you can't ever get a decent schmear around hea-yuh. 

I was early and probably agitated because this is my third appointment in five days and it's enough already. 

The nice nurse came and got me. You know how you meet someone and you just like them automatically? Anyway, me and my list of complaints sat in the exam room and the nurse and I discussed the wearing of different pants and how different waistlines can be painful. She said her Mom had....uggh I can't remember what it was...some sort of surgery I'll call 'The Ogden'. That's a road here in Chicago that runs diagonally to everything else. So any waistline she'd wear would be killing her. 

AND: The nurse looked at me like a crazy person and she said, ya know you're not healed yet, right? And I said, what are you talking about? Somewhere I got it into my head that at six months I'd be on a pogo stick at least. The nurse said you're not finished healing internally for an entire year

Why did I not know this?

The surgeon enters. Just him and me. And he's doing one hell of a lot of typing. And I'm watching him and I'm wondering if he gets nervous having people watch him type because I don't really enjoy it. 

It's the strangest thing because he got off the Be Positive and Walk elevator way back when we saw the cancer wizard who said: No chemo. That was AGES ago. So he knows nothing about anything. 

And I am having pain. 

I thought it was inside pain. Like some sort of Miralaxical thing. But before we got to that, it was the cancer list of things that must be done next.

I guess where I started to actually snap was with the combination of the phrases: come into the office and have the nurse give you an enema AND some sort of ass scope where he checks the place where he joined the one side of my intestine to the other. 

So by the time he determined that my incision had become herniated? 

Yeah. Not good. 

Goofus: If it weren't for bad luck, you'd have no luck at all.
Gallant: Oh geez. I'm sorry to hear that.

I made banana bread. I thought I'd find making it a satisfying experience but ya know what? I went to one of our local grocery stores after hypnosis and I happened to see quail eggs. Like in an egg carton. For sale. And I thought, in this horn of plenty where I live there are SO many better things. What that has to do with cancer? I think it's something related to how much time you get and how you wanna spend it. 

Or something.


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