Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Here's what it feels like: a big plastic fork stuck to your neck with some really heavy duct tape. So, sometimes it hurts just a little bit-like when you turn your neck and other times it's just a thing. 

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A stunning floral arrangement delivered in 
a recycled container from P and G. 

For some reason, I thought I'd be having a buncha fun(no really, I did.) this week, but I guess that was before I had my imaginary plastic fork installed. 

On the good side, I am taking more turns walking Grantley. I have a short route where we will least likely encounter anything or anybody-altho the likelihood of discarded chicken bones is extremely high.  

And on the good side of that, she's at the point of her life where she'd rather stand still and sniff things(not just things-every thing) than go tearing across Oak Park(which I used to have to do when she was purely a ball of energy). So, with the exception of the dog that now resides on our second floor who body slams that units front door every time we pass, the weather is cool and everything is verdant and the sun is shining and the birds are nuts. 




Nice.

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Yesterday was errands and you're like, wow fascinating! But ha HA! I can't drive yet so it was a team sport. We went to the bank, got to the teller and she said, excuse me. Did you have thyroid surgery? Because she noticed my decorative steri-strip neck fringe and we did a Sisters of the Missing Thyroid fist bump across the counter(for me-I thought we might set off some kind of alarm or something-reaching over the counter) and we traded stories. 

She said she can't yell anymore. (Ehhh yelling is overrated unless there's a semi about to run over your toe, no?) And we were talking about how common this surgery seems to be and why why whyyyyyy.  

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Operation Purple Lipstick

The choice was Walgreens or Ulta. I thought yay Walgreens because I'm not quite up for the judgmental liquid-linered eyes of Ulta employees. So there we were, looking through all the lipstickage and we found a tube of purple but weren't sure if it was lipstick or something else. 

P said, I'm gonna go over there and ask.

Next thing I hear is Girl #2 saying: YOU have got to be the BEST MAN ON THE PLANET. 


Not because he balances our intake of vegetables with the appropriate fruit, but because he fears no Walgreens clerk. 

And girl one says something like, the only time they have purple lipstick is around Halloween. Like we're supposed to be swayed by her lofty Walgreens beauty aisle opinion. 

Uh-huh. 

Off we go to Ulta. I ask for purple, she shows me 4 choices. Done. 



I don't know if it's purple enough. Work in progress. 



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