Saturday, July 2, 2016

For a moment, I forgot I had cancer at all. 


I was digging in to find a spectacular agent for my book-as they had taught me in Second City improv classes-I was finding the game. Like okay, who's the very very very best? And then, who's even better than THAT? 

Help Wanted. Spectacular Picture Agent who neva smells of bahhhhhlayyyyyywah tah.(See Poppins, Mary

So, up strolls one of my favorite-favorites and she says something complimentary and within the sentence is something about having beaten cancer. And for a second I thought, wait, what? 

Oh yeah. 


And you may ask yourself, how is it that I forgot, when I am sporting this number on my forearm. 



Lesson #353425962464564634-Do not arrive at a blood test without having become properly hydrated. I mean, some of that was on me and the other 3/4th was a vein in my hand that kept hopping and a vein that wouldn't release a drop and a vein that blew, so it wasn't allllllll me but still. 


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There was a visit to the Social Worker. Really, I would find it delightful if she wore some sort of modest uniform with a red cross cap and rolled bandages while I spoke, but this was all the usual horrendous life crap that I can't seem to negotiate with any shard of elegance and dress-wise, she's purely business casual. 

I have categories-I guess you could say-and I kinda review what's happening or not happening and I dunno. It's not like ever exactly fun to drag out all your drama(especially when it's someone else's fecal matter that keeps being flung in your direction) in front of someone else, so I can't really pin it down as a happy moment of the week but sometimes I feel positive-I guess you could say-that I'm even going there, because it means at least I'm trying. 

A weaker person would stay home and eat the opposite of walnuts-whatever that may be. 

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The Nutritionist


Part of cancering at Loyola is, you get to take advantage of a couple of free services. Nothing like what those breast cancer broads rake in-holy muther of jayzuz they get ALL the prizes-this is like, you can visit the art girl or get a rayon wig or learn to draw eyebrows.....I think? (I shouldn't be so glib. I have a cold. I forgive myself. Also I have an order in my files for a mammogram. Holy shit.)

I didn't know you could go back to the nutritionist twice, but I asked and yes you can. The last time I went, I was so sick. I should have just stayed on the couch and watched the rats waltz, but anyway, yeah. And P-who is the chief grocery hunter around these parts-I thought it'd be brilliant genius if HE went with me, right? But only if he wanted to. 

He wanted to go and off we went. 

We lucked out to get a really lovely human. 

Loyola's recommended place for cancer survivorship AND cancer prevention diet recommendations is this: www.aicr.org and you can go there and sign up to get emails sent to you with recipes. (you're welcome)

We had a lot of talking and explaining and no jerky judgement or that sort of Weight Watcher's/every other commercial diet on the planet sales pitch bullshit. 

We even did a sort of a lightening round asking her crazy questions. Like what do you eat at McDonalds. What would you NOT eat at McDonalds? And what's the one most recommended food in the whole wide world? And what do YOU eat? 

It was super cool. And free. Thanks to whomever had the bucks to sponsor the program. Well done. 

This morning, P went out to move his car and he comes back with this:

OP Farmers Market Doughnuts


Uh-huh. So I guess some of us are sort of easing into this food thing and that's okay with me. 

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