Tuesday, October 4, 2016

The good news about the past few days is that I've perfected the art of throwing up. I have never-my entire life-been any good at throwing up. My body throws down. 

Here's the secret: Make the back of your throat into an egg shape. Don't just let it do it's usual circle thing. Imagine an egg and get the top of it up. Know why you do that? Air. If you can have air while you're throwing up? It's a completely different experience. 

Not like it's gonna ever been fun or close to pleasurable but it's kinda like riding a horse, if you can get in the appropriate groove-you won't get your arse slapped for five acres.

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I didn't sleep last night because my body was doing an imitation of a naked lady fountain in the park. Stuff was-once again-coming out of everywhere. I'm a grown-up adult. I'm not afraid of eliminating bad juju (or even bad jujy fruits-which have been replaced by Jelly Belly jelly beans this go round because of all the intestinal drama) but last night my belly felt like it was full of swords. 

When they ask me where I am on the pain scale I always shoot kinda low because I feel like maybe I don't know what a nine actually feels like. My highest is usually a six but last night felt pretty nine-ish to me. 
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I read a book today. I haven't had the focus but P went out for a bit and it read quickly. 

I think it was probably just over a month ago, I came into work and announced that I'd read a whole book the day before(I haven't had that kind of time in a while) and the greatest thing was none of my co-workers even flinched. It made me laugh and laugh. I work at a library. That is what these people do. ha ha ha. 

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We had an argument-I forgot which day. The thing they say with cancer is it's either gonna tear you apart or make you closer. I can add this. One person is yakking all over everything and the other person has to put that stuff in the laundry. Which-if it happened once a year-would be gross enough but this-is a whole different (disgusting) animal. In addition, with all this medication stuff-I am seriously off my game. Like people's attempts at humor. Words to the wise: If you're not an active member of the cancer club, authenticity would be the perfect way to go in terms of reaction or conversation. 

Just so you know. 


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