Friday, November 25, 2016

I am tethered to a corgi.

She seems to have broken out with some sorta UTI something or other or should I say, she's determined to redecorate the living room floor. Need I say more? Yeah, I didn't think so. 

I did this same thing when she was just a pup. You tie the leash to your belt loop and try to be both entertaining and functional and there are less surprises all the way around. Course now, we're just shooting for a good 'settle' as opposed to on the job training. 

Also-I am typing with one hand. 

Also I am adding this photo of THIS IS NOT A BILL letters I got from Land O' Lincoln all in one day-just so you don't have to look at that creepy leg rash photo again. 


Week In Review

So there was Monday-no big deal, and then early Tuesday morning when I opened up one of those MyLoyola emails thinking-oh this must be about the iron thing, right? Hmmmmmno. 

Patient is status post bilateral thyroidectomy. At this time, a level 

IIb left lymph node appears with more convincing fatty hilum, 

measuring 1.4 x 0.4 x 0.8 cm compared to 1.1 x 0.8 x 1.1 cm. No 

additional enlarged or architecturally distorted lymph nodes noted. 

This was pre-coffee early, early, early Tuesday morning. I thought: surgery. More surgery. Then I thought about that radioactive  nugget thing they drop into your throat. Then I thought: chemo. 

P was just waking up. I lead with: I'm worried. And then I stop and think no-I can't carry this kinda stuff on this crazy busy work extravaganza day. So I say: No, ya know? I'm not going to be worried. 

I walk straight away from it. One eighty. You can do that. POW. 

Later, I text my comedy pal. We both admire this work.  I ask, which do you prefer: "I kicked cancer's ass" or "I kept going". We both agree we prefer "I kept going" altho I'm not sure either one of us would wear such a thing. A good discussion tho. And that has value too. 

If you do massage-you have to have schtick and especially if you work at more than one place, I've found it's a lot easier to tell the truth. Most times, I do not recognize people until I get to their left hamstrings-it's a volume business (at the moment) so people were asking me about Thanksgiving. 

"What are you doing for Thanksgiving?"

I wasn't really prepared to say, the first time someone asked, but it seemed as if someone(me)had done an awful lot of yakking with this particular woman so, I told her the truth. 

"We're taking my Dad to Hamburger Mary's in Oak Park for Drag Queen Bingo. That is our Thanksgiving."

I am sure you do not remember Thanksgiving last year, but I spent it with certain family members who's behavior was so massively rude and I was so incredibly angry(remember I broke out in this crazy leg rash that's only seen in children?) the social worker I spoke to earlier in the year was teasing me with an imitation (of me) saying: I will CUT you, but ah-HA! She was absolutely right. 

I figured that stress rash(they didn't say it was caused by stress but they couldn't find any other reason it occurred)probably cost me 4 doctors appointments(Like a primary care, 2 dermatologists and a kidney specialist-of all things)which meant time off work and 4 increasingly gigantic co-pays and oh yeah pain, joint swelling, a skin biopsy on my right thigh, prescriptions and I thought, ya know what? 

Someone I work with was telling me, when her mother got breast cancer, that was the end of toxic people. Whoa whoa whoa, I thought. How brave. 

I got out early from work, P picked up my Dad in Elmsville, then me in Forest Park, we drove to Oak Park Brewing Company and sat in the car chatting because we were a little too early. Then it started to rain. We got to the place where they seat you, to find that bingo had been cancelled. 

My team did not let me down. 

Here is my Dad eating fried Twinkies. I said, well you can tell your wife no
 longer roams the planet if you're eating THAT. We cracked up. 

The Endocrinologist got back to me right away on Wednesday. Everything looks normal. Keep going.


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