Thursday, January 5, 2017

I want to see this. And I want to look at this.  And this is really interesting. I saw two doctors that are on this list. One-for about 37 seconds and the other? Guess who? Pink shirt. 

I think I read something about the Affordable Care Act where it said, that ACA wasn't covering your magical cancer centers-you know, the fancy ones(in Illinois=Northwestern) and that your chances of survival went down if you didn't get your initial treatment in Fancytown. 


Kinda glad I didn't know that going in. 

I cruised through last years calendar and counted how many days I spent at Loyola. Now here, I don't mean 'in hospital' as they say across the pond. I mean how many days I went there. (Remember: parking= 5 bucks a throw.)


Nope, more.

Fifty. I was there fifty different days in 2016. Maybe for a blood test. Maybe for a surgery. Probably for some sort of appointment. And 2016 is not even the year we're calling 'The Bad Year'. (I'm not calling it 'The Bad Year' as you will note that I came out of it Not Dead, so, for me, I'm thinking it was more kinda like 'The Miraculous Year' but I wasn't the one doing the laundry.) And for the record, 2015 was actually only a bad 4 months. Oh, it gets complicated, doesn't it. Lawd have mercy. How come I didn't win Cancer Blog of the year. Too many F's and not enough lemons/lemonade, right? Gaaaaah. 

So all of a sudden, it seems kinda quiet over here, ya know?

Went to a party. There was a candy store of liquid selections. I mean like, Everything Good In The Universe. "What would you like?" inquired the charming hostess. Look around wildly, thinking thinking what could I have? She said, I even have La Croix(which I just read is pronounced lah-croy as opposed to Lah Kwah which is far less amusing, no?) Then I am standing there negotiating with my intestines. Really. This actually happened. Water. I better have water as I move toward the sink. Well, at least have COLD water says the charming hostess indicating the Britta in the fridge. Okay says me. Thanks. 

Hallo from then other side. 


The however. So I'm clear of cancer. Which is a huge thing, no? Cue the confetti. BOOM! But! Because I am an overachieving polyp farmer, I have to come back in three years for more colonoscopic high jinx. 

I was kinda frowning about that. It's a funny funny thing. Like how I mocked Walker Texas Ranger in an interview and sometimes I come home and pop on the teevee and what is on but GRIT teevee and who is looking at me but Walker Texas Ranger himself. 

And another colonoscopy. Oh how we BEGGED my Mom to buy us some Wyler's when it first came out. They even had root beer flavor and she would rarely cave. 

Isn't it ironic. 

I was e-ing with a friend of mine that had her own year of extreme crapatosis and she apologized for not following my blog and that she hoped the chemo went okay(Has anyone seen my hair lately? A woman at the library-after we saved her life with a candy cane(low blood sugar)said, Miss Ann? (which in my ear sounds like Mithann because I have that whole self amusement thing going on) You have a good big head ah hair. 

Uh huh, said me. It just keeps getting wider. 

Anyway, I said to my friend, here's the thing: I think the blog saved me. 

Because while unspeakably painful things were going on-the needle biopsy in my neck comes to mind-I was flat on the table trying to remember every detail so I could write it down. 

It really helped me. 

So thanks for that. 


Questions from the audience? 



  1. Yea, glad your test results were cancer free. If I were the Mary sunshine kind of person I would say that your situation that requires monitoring will keep the sneaky cancer from creeping in unnoticed. However it sucks that you have too continue to be monitored.

  2. You know I've recently met an actual Mary Sunshine and I can't understand her at all. I feel she's a different species.

    Thanks friend.