Okay so. If you had told me I'd be having a big ole chat with a surgeon on a Saturday afternoon in July? Ida never believed ya.
But I did.
There's a flurry of phone calls that happens before a surgery. You get summoned to come over and have the anesthesiologist look down your throat and be happy that your airway is big enough. Whatever that means. You gotta talk to nurses and surgeons secretaries and in my case-the hematologist but ha ha, guess what? She was on vacation-so all of a sudden I have the substitute hematologist looking at my records and making alternative decisions and prescriptions for injectable blood thinners and oh yeah, there's that big ole chunk of fear with a dollop of anxiety. You have that too.
(I am starting to hear whispers of other people who've had hernia repairs. I mean there's some kind of underlying shame involved in this-I guess. You're a failure at strength. Again.)
Finally, the surgeon did catch me on the phone on a Saturday afternoon and I said, ya know what? I'm starting to think we should do this next week. And this is after consultations with Amy and Leigh Anne who (thank god) made the appropriate-this doesn't sound right-noises and the surgeon-he's clearly overloaded and making a giant effort to be accommodating but together we officially threw the brakes on and everything felt so much better.
It'll be interesting if getting all this stuff done that I hadn't had time to get done yet-will that decrease my agitation next week or is it just something you walk in with. I can't really remember.
We did go to the beach on blueberry picking day(also Original Rainbow Cone)-we didn't make a huge deal out of it-changed into our suits in the car and just carried two towels and took turns getting into the water and when it was my turn to dive in? (It was really cold.) I plunged in while I still had the 1-2-3-Go sentence in my head. I went on 2 and then had no use for '3' and 'go' and I thought hey-hang on to that concept. You might need it.