Sunday, November 26, 2017

A Play in Two Acts

I was talking on the phone with a good friend I hadn't spoke to in ages and ages and ages and you can tell that because I don't really chat on the phone anymore. I used to be really good at that.

Anyway, times are very difficult for artist-types and so, she was telling me all the crappy things that had happened to her recently, and after every lament, she'd say,: Hey. At least it's not cancer, right?

Unmercifully (for both of us) it continued. 
Blah blah blah blah blah, Hey. At least it's not cancer


One more time. 
Dah dah dah dahhhhhhh. At least it's not cancer

So, she asks, how are things with you? 




I went to a friend's craft faire. I have no official budget for craft items at this time, but I have a mad passion for touching yarn and seeing the colors and the artisan, in this case, is Really Outstanding. I had some dollars in my wallet-just in case. 

The friend is speaking to another acquaintance and upon seeing me, she attempts a flattering introduction. Ann, she says, just did her first 5K. Oh yeah no, I say. That wasn't my first. 

Big blank air space. 


I've ruined my flattering introduction. 

So I say, wellllllll, it was the first since all of this. And here-with the wave of my hand-I indicate the area between my neck and my knees. Just in case. 

The artisan says something about how I provided her with some inspiration and now I'm actually feeling-all of a sudden-sick to my stomach-like I am going to heave and bawl at the very same time. And I am not a heavebawler. Generally speaking. 

Now, I'm not tryin' to be like, whatever(as my friend Alice used to say)but my efforts on the race route were nothing to write home about. I didn't run the really hard part and I am not of the generation who expects to get a medal for trying, so,while I am most grateful to have participated-and I am-I feel like maybe we should all go ahead and talk about something else.  

The artisan explains to the lady that I'd had some Health Challenges and that every time it seemed like it was going to be over, there was another

(and here she paused)


Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, says me. All true. 
So the woman turns to me and says, 

Well. You're here now, aren't you?

The End. 


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