For Christmas, I've been telling everyone, we cleaned the bathroom. People look at you strangely like, what are you, some sorta baboon? But the truth is, this factory runs 24 hours a day and there hasn't been that kind of time where you can take a rag and some vinegar and water and go tile-to-tile in the shower. We're just always running.
Best part was getting to this:
And then actually getting rid of it. Oh. What a feeling.
No chance of Opioid addiction in this house. We'd never finish the bottle. It's just not how we roll.
I called Loyola and it was after 5:30 so I was crossing my fingers I'd get through.
I'd like to make an appointment with Primary Care.
Okay, she said, that's not a problem. What's the reason for your visit?
Tired, I said.
I bet you have that too.
She cracked up. Fatigued?
Exactly. Super fatigued. And I just want to know if that's normal er whut.
That's not a problem. It's also time for your physical. Would you like to make an appointment for that so you can get some blood work too?
Sure. That'd be great. What's your name again?
You are great Jaquitta. Thanks for that.
You can hear a smile go through the phone lines. I don't care what anyone says.
There had been a crisis of sorts. Where all the follow-ups (and there were three plus my social media final)landed in the same week which was a gigantic mistake but it just turned out that way. I was-all of a sudden-running on a different octane fuel or in a different gear or something where I was just about jumping out of my skin.
Very much not like me but there it was.
I could hear it in my voice when I'd speak to a doctor. Sort of like having a rubber band wrapped around your larynx.
I asked for assistance. All of it. I think I frightened my Imerman's Angel lady with my 7 paragraph e-mail. Guess what. I don't care. I need information.
Then I was on Facebook scrolling along and I bumped into nothingsgonnastopme.com that's written by my esteemed colleague Erica. I met her doing improv at Gilda's and then again at the Cancer to 5k and here, deep within her post were some extremely useful words.
"Two years later, I continue to visit my oncologist every three months in the hopes of identifying any recurrence early."
Hmmm, thought me. That's so much healthier than my strategy of: I continue to visit my physicians in hopes of regularly frightening the shit out of myself.
One strategy is mindfulness. So I am practicing practicing mindfulness. Ya know what? I love it. I had no idea.