Saturday, April 28, 2018

This has been a hell of a week. 

(and for those that keep track, right now I'm drinking water infused with fresh raspberries and pink grapefruit. ('What are you drrrinkin' Ann?', asked my Jamaican co-worker. 'Looks like brains.' Oh yeah N'ketchi. Of course I'm drinking brains. Whatddaya think?!) Before this water, I had some cucumber/basil going on but someone told me that the giant jug actually leapt offa the bottom shelf of the fridge and spilled all over the floor and to be honest, I was kind of okay with that. I'm not spending time getting emotionally attached to a green puddle, right?)

Yeah so. Shit. Ya know? 

I could just post that and leave it right there and you'd know almost exactly what I was experiencing, but that would be so far less therapeutic (for me. Heh heh heh). 

I have been practicing Advanced Bravery. I don't now if you've noticed but, uh-huh. That means, I've been actively taking on all the things(all the things? I ask myself? Well maybe.) I have been so skillfully avoiding. (Insert POW emoji here. A big one if you have it.) So there's been phone calls and legal discussions and awful appointments and just one giant thing slamming into the next. 

What I noticed just today? Is that I'm running out of the things I seemed so desperate to google. I kinda have a whole lot less to think about. Which is weird. But good weird, because that leaves room for growth-I'm thinkin'-but I'm new at this so don't quote me. 

(Also I ate an entire plastic box of baby kale by myself over a period of 2 hours.What is UP with me?*)

My biggest accomplishment is that I got through a visit at the dentist and-this is even better-I treated myself to a grand dose of nitrous. I learned this particular self-care philosophy from a social worker who had been through some advanced medical trauma herself, and she told me in no uncertain terms that I had the right to demand that my treatments be as painless as possible, so when the dentist offered? I thought, ya know what? The rest of these people have their five hundred craft beers and whatever. I'm getting nitrous! 

The greatest part of that experience happened tonight, when I got to tell my Dad that under the influence of said laughing gas,I called upon my late mother for protection and man. If you could have heard my father roar laughing. It was all so totally worth the trip. 

Thanks for joining me. 

*Okay it's caesar dressing and parmesan cheese on the kale. That's what's up with me. ha ha ha! 

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