Tuesday, May 29, 2018


Day me say day off (Day off come and awake before six)

Day me say day off (Day off come and awake before six)

Read NY Times all night 'til the morning' come (Day off come and awake before six)
100 Calorie cookies and electrolyte water (Day off come and awake before six)

Come Mr. Air Conditioner chill off my bedroom-a (Day off come and awake before six)

Set you on Cold nicely up on the sill-a (Day off come and awake before six)

With Number Six, Number Seven, Number Ten Chill! (Day off come and awake before six)

Number Six, Number Seven, Number Ten Chill! (Day off come and awake before six)

Day me say Day Off (Day off come and awake before six)

Day me say Day, me say Day, me say Day, me say Day, me say Day Off(Day off come and awake before six)

(Day off come and awake before six)
(Day off come and awake before six)


--------
One thing that happens when you stop coloring your hair.





I admired this woman's shoes. They're cute, right? So, I ask if I can take a picture and she generously gives me all the details about them and she looks deeply into my eyes and says, "You should get them. They're youthful." 


Uh-huh. 


------------

It was the three month visit to the liver doc and I'm pretty good at it by now, I guess. The pre-seeing the actual doctor resident chat annoyed me. (Is that like when something is healing it starts to itch?) As an opener, he asked me what I eat. And I said, like what do you mean? 

Very slowly-so that a simpleton such as myself could understand-he said, Like fruits. And vegetables. I said, yeah that's what I eat.     Fruits.            And veg-ta-bles.   

Things turned when he checked out the weight that's removed itself from me. He couldn't math it out because it was subtracting sevens and nines backwards because you can't be good at everything(maybe he'll be a researcher with his own fancy calculator)but he experienced a positive mood swing and I was like, uh huh. 

You know I can't pinpoint exactly where I got annoyed with him but I think it was when he entered the room and added a W into my last name. Possibly maybe. 

Or maybe I'm over this b@#$s#$t. There's that too. 

So he goes out into the hallway and I overhear him telling the real doctor my medical history. It takes a long time. She comes in and congratulates me over the missing poundage and she shakes my hand as if Publishers Clearing House had dropped off a giant foam core board check or something. That feels So. Weird. 

Kinda along the lines of quitting smoking, I guess. Like, hey! Way to stop giving yourself lung cancer! WooHoo! High Five Dumb Ass! 

Know what I mean? 

She wants to know how I eliminated the 25.6 pounds and I say, well, I did that Change Your Weigh program at the gym? And it was The Trainer who told me about The Lunches* that's really made all the difference, uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh she says, but you get the feeling that her head has already moved on to other things. 



We briefly discuss a liver biopsy. Like what is it and how do they do it and we come to the conclusion that I don't want another hole in me if I can help it and she's cool with that so we can leave it alone and the very good news is that I don't have to go back for 6 months. 

Yay. 

Before we were through I pulled from my bag, the copy of the powerpoint lecture I had attended last week in which it said that people with cancers of the blood needs to watch out for five things one of which was Vitamin D. 

The look on her face when I pulled out the xerox. 

I was like, what? Is this something bad? It's not from the internet. It's from an actual doctor. 

Because I know their whole gig is derailed by well-meaning patients with breaking stories torn fresh from the internet and I am quite sure this is not what they bargained for way back in med school. I get that. 

But she was like no, no, let's see it. "We're glad you take an interest in your health." 


So, she says, do you want a test for Vitamin D? The resident points out that the lecture notes mention Leukemia so it's not even what I have but she's already turned toward the screen hooking me up with a blood test (which I take that very day at the Cancer Center because they are the best shot doers I ever met).

A few hours after I published today's blog? Got a message from the Liver doc's nurse. Your Vitamin D is low. We sent the script to Osco.

Uh-huh.  





-------

The lunches* 

1/3 cup of quinoa. Homemade caesar kale salad-good big spoonful. Phoenix Bean Chinese Tofu Salad-good big spoonful. Cherry tomatoes. Big big big pile of salad greens(butter lettuce or whatever you like). 

---------


No comments:

Post a Comment