Thursday, June 14, 2018

Everything is terrible.

At every doctors appointment for the last five years, there'd come of question of allergies. Went like this: And your allergies are environmental? And I'd say yes. In the spring.



I've been hit up by two gofundmes from two separate factions who've always had laundry baskets more money than me-in fact, part of their pitches are how gigantically generous to the universe they both have been-and here's me not being able to sleep at night thinking about these people and their goddammedunderfundedgofundmes.

Yeah. That's one word. Starting now.


There are children taking a break in the evenings right outside my third floor bedroom window with the lowest budget, essence of skunk-infused marijuana smoke known to man blown in my direction. I waited one night till the second time my room filled up with their smoke and I opened my curtain and I said, Hey. Your smoke is filling up my bedroom. Can you do that someplace else? Because according to my code of ethics(which many not be yours but you're not me) that is the most righteous thing to do. Straightforward and direct and ask politely. I can offer them no greater amount of kindness. That's all I got.

The female whined,"Can't you just close your windows for a few minutes?!?" Like it's all of a sudden my problem to empty my home of their smoke in the middle of the night.

I curse the inventor of the first condominium while I wait for their management company to return my calls.


My personal homeless woman at the library in an effort to be recognized as a contributing member of society (which is something she should automatically be, right?) decided today to begin assisting me with helpful suggestions. I mean, I get that and I Get That so when she instructed me that "Kelly always finds the books over there"-indicating the set of bookshelves just to the east of where I was looking-I clued her in that that indeed would be a great place to look-however, the books were shelved alphabetically and I needed to be closer to the T's but Thanks Tho, Really and ya know, after the third time she interrupted me-no. Not interrupted. She overruled me. I remembered that this is exactly the kind of work I think is The Most Important Of All but it doesn't mean it's like eating a fresh from the freezer chocolate chip cookie all the time, does it?

El nope-o.


Almost got into a chocolate chip cookie thang there for a moment. I ate a monstrous one and thought, both: Why did I do that?/Why don't I do that more often?

Instead, I'm eating a sort of a cocoa/banana/chia/coconut milk/vanilla/maple syrup/cinnamon thang. I thought about adding chocolate chips but that'd just ruin the illusion, wouldn't it?


I got my eyebrows threaded outside of a Walmart by a southeast Asian woman who kept asking me," What's the matter baby?" and I looked at her and I said,"You're hurting me." and that has to be some sort of a measure of a woman's character.

That she's got what it takes to get the second one done.

No comments:

Post a Comment